As the Author / Director of your art is present, or went on vacation, and your role of the Author, took usurper ?
Today I continue the subject of archetypal life energy. This is my next pattern.
The Author presents a view of the world, of what is shown to you in the course of education at home and schooling. If you were filled with fear, instilled fear for survival, fighting for survival or money, you constantly have to do this, reflecting as in a mirror your’s received, pressed into your patterns.
It was just my way – the way I walked, realizing given to me in childhood patterns of fear.
My direct association with this pattern related to the conclusion after years that I am the author of what surrounds me. Meanwhile, my life was a typical inverted mirror: this world has an influence on me, and I can not do anything about it. My relationships with others, (I wrote about it in my previous models) showed me that I have to constantly adapt myself, deny myself, to be finally the program of the others, not me! I discovered enormous power inherent in this pattern of life energy, which over the years did’nt permit me to take a step forward, to see it all in my own mirror and start to change that.
We have to come to this point in life, when we come to the bottom or wall, from which the only way is reflecting in the opposite direction. And then it is just beginning to change for the better ! Otherwise we do not want to understand, we put everything on later, tomorrow, we put in the hands of others, read something, but we do not understand, we do not refer to ourselves, to our inner power!
So I had to repeatedly reach the bottom, wait crises on all fronts to begin to change my life.
With the lessons of life and wisdom from it I now know that I can alone create a world in which I would like to live. I discovered my talents of writing, which has been simmering in me from youth age, but only 15 years ago I started to have the full benefit from it. I have incredible insights, the sensitivity of the body and as soon as anything happens to it, I immediately proceed it to make an overview and understanding of this matter. I understood that the role of the author is to take matters into his own hands, creating opportunities, opening them, follow them.
How is your life? Do you know the answer to the question posed in the title ?
Reading, then working a few years ago with a book “Anathomy of the Spirit” by Carolyn Myss, I discovered among my archetypal energy a Pioneer / Innovator. He is responsible for balancing the personality, to grow below ego and return home. When I looked at my life through the years, I realized continuously pioneering activities, strengthen me as a person.
Being confronted with interpersonal relationships, I was constantly exposed to the challenges associated with my childhood patterns of fear of people, and as Susan Jeffers wrote in her book Act although anxiety. So it was with me. My fear, which was a limiting force for my actions, at the same time was a driving force to seek ever more efficient ways to overcome it, go crossing it. Sometimes I was collapsed by it, but very soon I rebirth like a Phoenix.
Questionning myself of the power inherent in the archetype, I found many of my experiences from my early childhood, as well from adult life which re-wounds me many times, because of my fear- pattern, so I started to re-construct myself, collecting each wounded part of me, piece by piece, to return to healthy pattern. Yes, I have become exceptionally competent in how to gather strength, how to find potential health in myself.
In these years of life experiences I discovered in myself an extremely valuable advantages and talents: flexibility, invincibility, rebirth, striving forward. I became the undisputed pioneer in leading the process of constantly balancing personality. Of course my old programs gave itself felt in the form of messages: do not handle it alone, no one appreciates me, etc. But it was in me a power that constantly gave me signs to know that I can handle it, and can overcome adversity, defeat fear and speak my truth.
That’s what I realized during my life experience, it was constant balancing and discriminate what was white with what was dark, anticipate challenges, exploring new solutions, new lessons learned and following forward. So I learned from the experience and achieved continuous synthesis.
When I looked at what happened there in my life as many roles in the inner theater, it occurred to me that one of my actor is a great Innovator, a Pioneer, who plays for the audience. I asked myself : How to be a star ? And it occurred to me that the effect of crowns the work: I need fire, motivation, enthusiasm, determination, and it will create a new beginning and start to make new discoveries.
Here is my ADVICE TO YOU:
Become a courageous person. Discover the power in you to change – particularly what constitutes a problem for you. There are no problems – only matters to attend to and resolve them. Start to solve them creatively, using pioneering solution, never used anywhere else. It’s your life and it’s your merit in your improvement – improving the quality of YOUR life !
It is often said in psychology that the best therapist is wounded therapist. I here name it differently – the Wounded Healer, because the way I had used for years is the way to health, by digging up the pattern of health, rather than immersing yourself in the disease or any pathology.
I work for to release blocked energy, which can not be expressed. This aspect of healing pierces recently in the energy psychology, and lack of it in the classical approach. It is an obligation to psychologist to have courage and determination to heal his wounds of his childhood, and this is just giving him full credibility in what he does. I met with the saying, moreover, that the person hid in the closet his shadows so as not to interfere with its function in the real world by helping others. And this is the main problem and at the same time the sense of his own work – its credibility by himself, his own example.
The wounded healer is responsible for life’s values. They should be healed at home. My life experience in childhood led me to the existence of the wounds to heal them. When I joined this process, I realized the strength rooted in these wounds, which are healing power simultaneously, life values, which can thus be recovered. I realized that my repeated failure of health and determination and inner work to heal them and return to health has made me extremely competent person .
Lessons that brought me life wisdom is above all to realize the power in me (I can handle it) – the possibility of healing of my life in its various spheres. These lessons have gave me a special meaning, because by learning from my experience I could try out my strength, and in accordance with the laws of psychodynamics (taken from psychosynthesis) – this force increases when it is utilized.
Thus, I realized that the healing of my childhood and the discovery of the locked destructive energy liberated in me an enormous sensitivity to others, for their health problems, and my experience allows me to give them hope for their healing. So instead of being stocked in traumatic experiences and blaming others, and so ” a grounded trauma in me “, it allowed myself to release energy of trauma and reap the study of its occurrence in my life. I realized also that there is something more than the physical body as a result of experience (symptom) that appear years later.
Nothing in nature is lost, as in man! I saw the sense in trauma and beyond, more than experience it in my life.
Do you understand the meaning of your disease, your life experience? If it is clear for you, any disease has not purpose to exist in you? Do you want to understand it? Ask the experts in it – real Master Life Coach which discovered their purpose of life experiences!
The energies of this archetype were more anticipated than conscious. When I came across the description, and then work on the archetype in me, I realized how much I duplicate the pattern of life for years. Orphan –child is responsible for the profession and health, and has a major impact on it. My child – orphan caused orphan-disease, which I was not conscious of it, like the relationships with people that I felt as loneliness. I understood its enormous holding strength over me and how much I became competent in the interpretation of this archetype.
After years of life I understood the wisdom gleaned from this lesson. I realized the impact on quality of life and health. Thus, my current profession has become a healing, recovery of health, because it – child–orphan was the reason for my health problems since childhood. My basic fear of the children was mainly the one that nobody loves me, that my health problems related to loneliness, so the circumstances of outbreaks of disease orphan. I also understand my unconscious habits of swaying forward and backward, when often sat alone. It was “rocking” of the child, rocking him to soothe his pain and suffering, but over the years I totally did not notice that either, or did not understand.
My challenge now is taking care of her, that the child was not lonely anymore. I embed her in the main core of my work life as a foundation from which it grows the “tree of life”. Thus, I also had to create a harmony between work and health. This archetype determines how to interpret the possibilities in life, and be binding with finances. The main goal in my harmony in my life since then was to become care giver of my orphan-child, as all the resources within me arise from the care, reap from this care.
For physical violence, verbal or emotional or sexual abuse, intimidation, terrorizing, blaming or punishing, whether the prohibition to ask awkward questions children and adults pay the price of health for life, doing what they require, swallowing your own truth, and unexpressed emotions running subtle mechanisms of denial themselves. Knowing the truth about himself, his painful experience triggers the fears and anxieties that have experienced as children, bringing immense relief and release deeply concealed tension in the body. Thus, the truth sets us free.
If violence, causing damage, starts in childhood, implementation and life itself revolves around the nature and consequences of childhood injury. Ch. Meriam believes that each of us was once in some way deeply hurt as a child. It may also be one of the reasons increasing alienation of people with each other, even in families and closest neighborhood.
Repeated damages to the child according R. A. Hass [http://intuitivementoring.com/articles/healingFrom SoulAbuse.html] is leading from the beginning of life to self-criticism and a sense of low value to sabotage oneself and others.
Transpersonal therapists believe that the pathologies of various kinds are a feature of traumatic experiences and freeing them from the body and the mind is fundamental to healing. Regardless of what kind of a traumatic experience (not noticing the child and lack of understanding or various forms of emotional or sexual abuse), if it is not eliminated from the system (healed), it comes to dysfunctional behavior in the outside world, or much more likely to self-destruction.
That’s what I am writing in this blog is to collection of different pieces (founded in my life) into one unit, in order to see the whole picture ( for expl leading to autoimmunoagressive disorders), thus acting against oneself. This leads to many diseases of civilization, as I wrote in the previous section, also to external threats, citing, the books of A. Miller.
Many years of my struggles with various kinds of ailments and my researches has led me to understand one of the reasons (perhaps there are many) of Fibromyalgia and other civilization issues, concerning our identity. In this and the next section I will expand this topic in order to bring my readers why I went to such conclusion, based on psychosynthesis. Psychosynthesis is a holistic approach to human growth in all its dimensions, including the spiritual nature (Soul), founded by Italian Psychiatrist Roberto Assagioli (1888-1974). You can see more about Psychosynthesis for expl there: http://two.not2.org/psychosynthesis/index.htm or In Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosynthesis also on my website http://www.en.psychosynteza.pl
My blog titled Fibromyalgia Self Disorders shows some aspects of development that need to be re-own, and that has been lost (there are, however, to recover!). I am talking about Self (with a capital S), which indicates Higher Self in Psychosynthesis, or Soul.
Books of both authoress: A. Miller and U. Anderson, whom I mentionned earlier (Immunology of the Soul and The Psalms of Children. Their Songs and Laments – Understanding and Healing the Scars on the Souls of Children), are describing the specific cases and situations of life of the children (in therapeutic practice). Dr. Anderson is an international known physician whose pioneering work, research, and publications in Paediatrics, Mental Health, Preventive Medicine and Public Health have been recognized world wide. She is an alumna of Yale Univesrity Medical School, U.S. The Royal Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons, and London and Liverpool University. She has also served as a consultant to the WHO. I met her personally at the World Forum in 2012 at St. Catherine College, where we had both lectures one by one, strenghenning our messages to the World (being as one), not knowing previously each other.
Dr Anderson has developed a unique concept of the roots and trans–generational nature of violence and provides compelling arguments as to how the prevent pandemic of violence within a generation be moderated. She made a synthesis of the late 20th century biology and medicine. J. A. Loftus, S.J. Ph.D. (University of Waterloo, Ontario, Canada) wrote, explaining the content of her second book, mentionned by me: it is deeply moving plea for the children of our world … this is holistic thinking .. and it offers a sensitive characterization of the dillemas facing those children as I have ever read . These psalms of children only chasten our narrow-sighted cultural madness … the lament of the children need not continue to fall on deaf ears. Herein lies the hope of one corner of civilization.
My experience of childhood, decoded successively as self-understanding, releasing tension in the body, fit into exactly the dilemma described by the author of today’s kids and teens, opening up a wide area of problems encountered in the modern world, not just in the days when I was a kid. It directs and instructs thinking what makes the children living in very different times have similar, or perhaps even coping with worse problems. My conclusion, confirmed moreover by Polish research scientists (especially Professor. Z. Rynn) have shown, that traumas of victims of political prisons and war camps during and after the war, who were diagnosed on psychological trauma (PTSD) were transferred to the next (3-4) generations. (maybe more). There were tested on the 60–70’s of the twentieth century by thousands of patients in the Clinic for Survivors of War Camps and Victims of Communist Regime in Cracow, Poland). This confirms that aggression and violence (both physical and psychological) causes injury to the Soul, both already growing child, also the fetus.
The small baby from early childhood is extremely delicate. His psyche is like a spider web, which affected only a finger breaks or loses completely its structure. Just one touch makes already a so absolute change and it does not return to normal.
As I wrote earlier, an extreme sensitivity triggered in my earliest childhood. Only years later, working with Psychosynthesis, I realized also that my birth and rejection by my mother because of the pain that I caused her during my delivery at home, caused in me the greatest trauma.
Over the years, as I have said, physical punishment and psychological violence (inability to express myself, including fear) accompanied me on a daily basis, and above all, the lack of security. After years as well, working with a psychosynthesis therapist, I discovered that in my psyche is a gap – an empty space, due to the lack of my father. It was completely empty space, because he was arrested when I was two years of age, and then I received him as a strange man, or even the one that hurts and shames. I had to fill this gap.
Children, like adults, and perhaps especially, are sensitive to their sense of dignity. They need to be both loved and respected. They can not be treated like a toy, and even as a thing with which you can do what you want. The child has his dignity – human dignity and requires it to be noticed and appreciated.
Psychological pressure and cruelty, as well as treatment of the child without the dignity is the worst way of doing havoc (like a spider web) in the soul of the child.
When I got into Psychosynthesis, I began to heal myself, my Soul, which was brutally kicked and humiliated. I met my Soul, I realized that it is an integral part of me and it needs to be not only recognized, but it turned on me – re-owning. Even then I found out that my Soul has been strangled by the cruelty deep inside me, gagged, not permitting her to speak .. Setting not allowed her to live, did not bring her respect, not given their rights – children’s rights, but first of all human rights. She had to speak. She is me. She has a body that needs to be respected.
Now, when I started to dig up the layer after layer of my personality, of my true nature, my identity, she leads me through life, showing the way and that’s all what I understand by life.
It is that I share with others, my way to find my Soul and her recovery, showing by my example, how to find it.
May my journey into finding myself will give hope to the Souls waiting to be discovered, and wanting to have their voice to speak it loudly.
Please search also discussions in the group on LinkedIn Fibromyalgia&Chronic Pain LIFE MAGAZINE I have there a lot of discussions. See also Dr Ursula M. Anderson websites: