It would seem that the orphan-child has all the attributes of the child and there is no need to delve into it more. But I needed to understand me better, the more that a child as a girl, I was emotionally scarred. Indirectly I also discovered orphan-child in me, even though it was’ nt, in fact, because I had parents, but I was emotionally abandoned by them.
These two views of the child in me, gave me a strong foundation for understanding both: my profession and health as a value. An injured child is regulating the highest potential in man. I realized that I could achieve the highest potential when I take care of my child, heal his hurts.
I wrote many times about my wounds in my healing subsequent scenes of my childhood. It was described also in my book ” Psychosomatic, emotional and spiritual aspects of stress disorders .” My experience of wounded child touched very deeply nearly all my life, both in feeling hurted (hence the sense of the victim in me too – because all these energies are intimately intertwined) and then decode and transform it in my holding strength, my profession, helping others. I understood the magnitude of this force, as it affects the quality of life of every human being, and how over the years I took on responsibilities to be the ultimate authority.
I’ve learned from my life lessons a lot of wisdom especially than I can achieve the greatest potential taking care of my wounded child. I could thus overcome the biggest fear of people (those adults who hurted children years ago, those standing at the door and causing fear consequences for life for the whole family). I could overcome all the health problems and, above all, protect myself, make my orphan-child – healthy child, supported his development of reaching the top of his potential, implemented in himself.
Trauma blocks to achieve the highest potential, and exceeding it helps to look at it from a distance, as the power to support hurted child, and thus help other abused children (often unconsciously) in families or by life circumstances.
This is not only any description. This is real case of authentic life to show you to take advantage from it. Do you have happy child or wounded child? Could you see what your life is showing you the way to go, to fulfill your meaning of any experience, any disease, any energy whish is deeply rooted inside of this event to discover it and use for your fulfillment.
I was dedicated a few years ago to know more about the different approach to the deeper level of human being. I felt I have to know more to heal myself in a deepest level. Once I have found the book of Carolyne Myss “Anatomy of The Spirit” and later “Sacred Contracts” by the same author. It was very excited to me, especially working with my cast of archetypal life’ energy and understand more my way through life. It needed from me a lot of deep reflections what was the meaning of my life experiences. In next few chapters I will bring some wisdom from this approach concerning my life experiences.
One of the archetypes I found was a visionary. He is responsible for the house, building a house for the soul. Immediately when I think about him, it reminded me of the welfare, happiness, joy, health , in psychosynthesis – an ideal model. I saw clearly what is good for me, the best appropriate for me. I believed that it is possible that this is the one where I’m going. This reflects the positive final.
Shifting to my life experience: I was still looking for a house, at the beginning, searching of the father, because my home was incomplete (as you remember from the beginning of this blog, my father was imprisonned as a political prisoneer when I was two years old. Living in constant fear, my family, and especially me, found still some shortcomings, darkness, and basically dark vision of our existence. In my interpersonal relationships were also the same shortcomings or terminated bonds, sometimes patterns of improperties.
When I became aware of the power of this archetype, I paid attention to his incredible power, because for me the house was the epitome of HOME, so everything that brings man full welfare. My lack of a true home, the father, the right relationships, interpersonal ties, pushed me to seek continually ways to gain them. I stood in this very competent, working day by day searching after that.
Reflecting on the lessons of life and the wisdom that I received, I realized that I have to clearly see the purpose of any event in my life, have the strength to cultivate it in myself! I realized that when I will base on my strength, I get everything, everything will be fulfilled. I will have possibilities to publish my books, find the people who want to read them and appreciate the value of them for themselves!
My weakness in that moment was childish patterns – dark vision, constant psychological depression (darkness – dark seeing!), so I had to work to change the pattern. I discovered in myself many talents and values in the form of bliss, joy, happiness, contentment, laughter, and above all health. So I found then I have to constantly change the negative into a positive!
My questions this time were as follows: Is there my home real? Where is my happy home?
I realized that I had to dig the foundations of my positive feelings, because expressing myself in this way must have its HOME in me. My task is to clean the unfinished business of childhood and create a healthy home. Healing own history is a breeding ground for healthy HOME and family. When there is darkness, there is no vision. When you begin to see the brightness, you can light up any space.
What do you brighten today?